What Do You Say?

What do you say when someone dies? It's one of those things we hope we never have to think about, but when it happens we are automatically dumbfounded. For the last two weeks I have been speechless. A good friend of Chris and I's died unexpectedly two weeks ago in an unfortunate car accident. Tragedy doesn't even begin to describe the loss of his life. He was getting married in May, just graduated from college, and was just a fantastic man. I have known Matt for about 4 years now and he was a person I always enjoyed being around, he had a wonderful smile and like most of Chris' friends could make you laugh. I joked with Chris often that he reminded me of Sacha Baren Cohen when he played Ali G (but Matt was way more handsome.)

Chris, Mike, and Matt

I will never forget waking up to Chris answering the phone at 4:30am Saturday morning, I sat straight up on the futon as soon as I heard Chris say, "Borage? What?" We were supposed to attend his wedding shower that Saturday night, I had been planning on  getting up and going to get him and his fiance's present. What I can't even begin to imagine is the pain Becca, his fiance is going through. I felt like such an imbecile at the wake and funeral because I only had tears and hugs to offer her. There is nothing I could possibly say that would make things better and I don't think there ever will be. I still can't believe he is gone. I am sitting here staring at the program from his funeral with his bright, happy, smiling face and it just seems so surreal. At his wake, I kept thinking I was seeing him standing with our group of friends, or hearing his voice.

I tear up even now just writing this because it just didn't have to happen, but it did to a person who meant so much to so many people. We will spend a lifetime missing him. My friend Amy, who is much more eloquent than I, captured my thoughts exactly....read her blog here.